20 flights with an under-2 year old (what were we thinking...?!)

From Laos to Langkawi, Bali and back and multiple domestic trips to Sydney and the Sunshine Coast this mum of one took 20 flights with her 3 to 23 month old. She proceeds to talk in the third person and lists 20 things she learnt about plane travel at the various ages and stages including top tips for travel with a toddler and parenting pitfalls to avoid.

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I will start with a disclaimer justifying the number and nature of flights we took as new parents by blaming my inherent wanderlust and fear or missing out (FOMO) which became amplified by parenthood and this increase in hours spent at home while on maternity leave.  Suddenly the southern sun wasn’t sunny enough nor the water warm enough and I needed to be anywhere and everywhere more tropical, and immediately.  There was also the chronic sleep deprivation contributing to an exponential increase in screen and internet hours (albeit not mummy-blogging!) with most of my travel planning occurring between the hours of 3-5am.  I hence take little responsibility for the decisions that followed. But was it worth it? Absolutely. 

1. It might seem like a savvy financial decision to pack in your plane trips in those first two years but after 20 flights across Asia and Australia, I can now look back and declare that no amount of money saved by not paying for a seat for your child will make up for the loss of personal space, privacy, dignity, sanity and comfort which comes from being able to have an extra seat and a plane row to yourself.


2. You will remind yourself of the above fact multiple times over particularly as your sleepy newborn becomes a curious crawler or you are wrangling a toddler intent on kicking your neighbour and you’ll wish you weren’t such a cheapskate despite this seeming rite of free passage.


3. If you travel in the first 3 months and are breastfeeding you will squirt milk all over the man in the suit sitting next to you as you wrestle with milk let down, oversupply and space issues. Hopefully this is your husband, but it probably won’t be.  You will wonder why people in Economy wear business suits. 


4. Sometimes you’ll get lucky and a booking or flight attendant will allocate you an extra seat.  You’ll smugly celebrate your win and vow to never pay more than you have to for this luxury while expecting the same service on every subsequent flight. It won’t happen. You will feel tricked.


5. If you arbitrarily get allocated an extra seat it is unclear whether it is because your ‘winning’ mum aura stems from a) changing out of your pyjamas into travelling harem pants (that still resemble pyjamas) and appearing so together that you deserve it or b) looking so dishevelled that the airline couldn’t risk negatively impacting any other customers by sitting them alongside you.


6. You will continue to have an internal struggle with the above.  You will start out with high sartorial style expectations and picture yourself wearing a straw fedora and curve-accentuating bather onesie while lounging poolside on a day bed indulging in your latest book. 


7. You will leave the fedora and any other small non-essential items on the plane because your brain can’t remember five minutes ago and eventually will be grateful when your boob isn’t exposed at check-in.  You also won’t notice that both of your feeding bra clips have been undone for the duration of the flight until you reach your destination and change clothes for the first time. Not to mention your book won’t come out of your suitcase, your kindle is on the plane and your onesie doesn’t fit, but that’s another story….


8. Suck. suck. suck. breast or bottle feeding on take off and landing will help your little one adjust to sudden changes in atmospheric pressure. A dummy may well do the trick also if they’ll take it. BUT beware the supply/demand issues. It may be the best remedy you have but comfort feeding for plane travel and the disruption of time zone and usual routines can wreak havoc with your milk supply.  This can lead to over-engorgement and may well impact those bikini selfies when one boob is the size of a watermelon. Just saying.


9. Most airlines allow you to bring a pram, cot and car seat for a child under 2 free of charge.  Take advantage of it! Depending on where you are travelling it will save you money and will give new parents or those travelling more remotely some peace of mind not than having to source these things locally. Just be aware that with all of this extra luggage you will be less inclined to jump on the next public transport to your accommodation so there may be extra transfer costs to consider.  A bit of wear-and-tear may also be expected with this (second most) precious cargo so you'll need to be less precious about this. Wrap up your car seat and maybe invest in a pram you can keep an eye on as carry-on, knowing that after the first 6 months you'll probably be much more relaxed about using any old car seat or cot if it means bringing less luggage. Follow these links for my favourite compact and portable travel cot and travel pram essentials.


10. Use a carrier. It may be an ergonomic multi-vented-3-way-reversible-transferable and costly contraption or it may just be a cloth sling. Don’t under-estimate how useful it is to have your hands free for carting luggage on and off the plane knowing your little one is safe and sound.  My favourite Ergo and cloth slings are here.  If your toddler prefers their independence and insists on walking, Skip Hop make some great mini zoo animal backpacks with a 'tail' er.. leash you can keep 'em close by in transit ;)


11. Not to mention muslin cloths or oversize light-weight wraps or scarves.  These are a must for providing a bit of privacy for feeding, darkening your lap for day time sleeps or acting as a temporary sling for sleeping especially if the seat belt sign is on and you can’t wear your proper carrier.


12. Sisterhood of the travelling multiple pairs of pants; New mums are liable to overpack everything but the kitchen sink. Amongst the 38 cloths and nappies just make sure you have a couple of complete outfit changes for the flight including another layer for yourself in your carry-on. Those nappy and reflux explosions in the first 6 months can be brutal and no doubt one will occur the minute the first seat belt sign has been turned on. 


13. Where to sit? Choose a window seat if you value privacy and think your little one will sleep in your arms and you’d appreciate a corner nook. Choose the aisle if your older child is on the move and you think you’ll be pacing the aisles regularly.  If you are travelling with your partner choose an aisle and a window and hope no one sits in between. And if they do, hope they are rational enough not to want to sit in the middle of two flailing and desperate parents at their wits end.  


14. Baby bassinets on long-haul flights are over-rated. With strict size and weight limits and instructions to remove your baby in any event of turbulence they can offer false hope of a restful flight beyond the first few months. However, with more leg room, these seats are a bonus for families if you want wriggling room but if you prefer to keep your toddler contained, can be problematic.


15. For a toddler, timing flights over a meal time can be a good activity and, albeit, messy distraction.  Unless you are going long haul to Europe, ‘overnight’ flights to Asia are often overstimulating with too much food service and cabin lighting to be useful for a long sleep.  This is a recipe for disaster.  Unless your child can sleep through anything, fly during the day, time it with a day nap for a short flight and be prepared with food and activities either side.


16. Speaking of activities; Despite your best effort with mindfulness colouring-in and miniature vehicle or wooden animal imaginative play, sometimes the only thing that will amuse your child is putting the prescribed snack refreshment inside a plastic cup and then inside of a sick bag and then unpacking it all. and repeat. It’s some kind of Inception. 


17. If they are old enough to eat, you may be tempted to use food to placate a restless child. Be warned that a combination of milk. yoghurt, pear, a tube of broccoli/cheese/cauliflower and the rest may result in over consumption and be promptly regurgitated in volume once you get in a moving car and leave the airport.  Your car and car seat will never smell like crisp linen or new leather ever again. You have been warned.


18. As they get older, forget home made spoon fed gourmet delicacies on the flight. With the lack of space and compartments on flights these days the less containers and cutlery the better. Choose low fuss and mess options and if that means a tube of mush and a cruskit then so be it. (Please refer disclaimer and note no dieticians have been consulted in this decision-making-process).

19. Never have screen-time under 2 years. Except when it is essential. And by about 18 months you will drive yourself crazy on a flight without it. Get an old iPad and enclose it in a durable rubber case. Download some Playschool, Thomas the Tank Engine and Bananas in Pyjamas on demand and get at least 5 minutes of your life back. Guilt be-gone.


20. And finally, just remember to Breathe! Repeat the mantra that it is only 2/7/14 (insert relevant time increment) hours of your life. You’ve got this. Good luck!