Thus begins a story from the road...contemplated while driving south on Highway 395, an almost 1000 mile feat since we left San Francisco all those days ago. This journey took us from Lake Tahoe California into Nevada and back to California through Yosemite National Park, onto Mammoth Ski Resort and eventually into Los Angeles. The rugged snow-capped mountains of the glacier-carved Sierra Nevadas formed an epic and impressive backdrop to an otherwise vast open plain where true to form tumbleweeds certainly did blow in the wind. The landscape reminded me of No Country For Old Men... so i guess i was glad i wasn´t.... at times like an old Western.... a little bit Dances with Wolves..and as we chanced upon the number of Native Indian/American Reservations dotted along the way, you´d be hard pressed to miss them with the accompanying massive Casino and little else. maybe a $4.95 rib special. But for the rest of the time a game of eye-spy was limited to various adjectives to describe a lone tree or fence post aka "wood" or creative variations for bitumen or "white lines". Between a few clusters of RV/trailer parks...just like in the movies(!) i kept my eyes peeled for corn fields that might be carved into some kind of extra-terrestrial geometric phenomenon. A bunch of satellite dishes, a NASA flight research centre and low flying aircraft had me convinced that we had stumbled upon Area 51 in the Muhabi desert. But my Mulder and Scully delusion was dampened somewhat by signs saying that traffic speed is monitored "by radar" and we were probably being stung. I´m sure there is a consiracy theory for that however....!!
For what the small towns of ´Paradise´´ and ´´Independence´´ lacked in population and general size, the welcome signs assured us they made up for in ample charm, evidently a good dose of patriotism..and probably a Starbucks at the gas station. Not backward in coming forward, the motels advertised "color tv" and there were places for "burger, fries and laundromat" what else could one need?! In a country where you can adopt-a-highway and anyone from the local Subway or the "i´ll never speed again comedy traffic school" are examples of such philanthropic organisations(?!) there is certainly a lot of pride and exaples of BIG heart.
In fact that brings me in a round about way to something of a point. In America: Everything is so goddam BIG!! Perhaps the diminuitive comparison against the massive mountains makes it difficult to put size in perspective... but seriously.. does every car have to be like a monster truck?! For a while we drove behind a ute with 8 wheels and a bald eagle and american flag emblazoned on the back...... the Dodges, Hummas, Chevrolets and even the Fords made our little Toyota Matrix resemble something actually from the Matrix movie.... like an invisible portal to another universe easily driven into or over without noticing. Lucky mike is a great driver! So these BIG cars pull into the BIG fast food joints of Arby´s Wendy´s and Carl´s Jnr where the charbroiled burgers are anything but Junior size... Walmart and Costco have warehouses that span entire counties i seems and the Super 8, Hotel 6 and Best Western compete for the largest signage usually in the form of a blow up monstrosity in the centre of town.. I´ve been to Texas and yes everything was also big there...80,000 people to a college football match?! but in a country that also allows double the luggage allowance of any other, this is obviously evidence of a more widespread supersized phenomenon and not just a feature of the Lonestar Longhorn state. That said, we did transit in Dallas Fortworth today (4 days too early for Superbowl.. and my inflight reading material and all signs point to the fact this is probably going to be the BIGGEST event in sporting history) The fact it took half a day to monorail between terminals here does make me think that my memory of the scale of things in Texas may have diminished with time..
So it was only fitting that our journey on the road eventually took us to Mammoth Mountain for a final afternoon of BIG mountain riding benefitted by a fresh 12-15 inches of snow over the weekend on top of a 9-15 foot base. For tired and weary legs on day 7 straight, the home trail The Big Easy proved something of an oxymoron and we were glad to finally call it a day over a Mammoth Margarita and a Village Lodge hot tub. If Mammoth is a playground for the rich and famous as the closest ski hill to LA...then the hot tub and neighbouring pool is the playground for their kids and evidently a stand-in baby sitter. Apart from being 83% sure that Patrick Dempsey was in the hotel lobby, my celebrity spotting was unfortunately limited to deducing which self-entitled bratty children resembled which likely washed up D list hollywood starlet or more likely illegitimate child of local sporting hero or music producer....
So onto LA and increasingly more obnoxious radio stations and billboard advertising as you approach the City of Angels....sees my not only having to listen to the same 5 pop songs over and again (not exactly complaining ;) but also being brainwashed by pharmaceutical companies into making sure i ask my doctor if the latest product (which has not been in any large scale trials and has been link to fatal abdominal bleeding, nausea headache among other side effects) is right for me?! Not to mention Lasik eye surgery, laser hair removal and lap band surgery using the latest DaVinci Robotic minimally invasive faster recovery technology. I have already chosen my surgeon from the profiles advertised in my American Airways magazine. Media manipulation also meant I was just as ready to exercise my right under Senate Bill 420 to apply for a medical marjuana license and could do so on site at Venice Beach..i was probably going to bear arms and also to express my freedom of speech and creative expression with some tattoo artistry ala Kat Von D´s LA Ink...but we ran out of time as it was peak hour and we had to get to the Lakers Game wearing the Kobe Bryant cap and guernsey we just bought. Mine was much cheaper than at the NBA store...probably because it has his old Number 8 instead of 24. So i either looked like i had no idea or as a loyal fan from way back when and i am hoping the latter ;)
One night in LA and we ate at Katsuya at LA live, frequented by the likes of hollywood and jersey shore wannabe starlets like Snooki and where NY Times recommends the albacore with fried onions and the California Roll was to die for!! Needless to say the hub of loyal fans seated around us and their catchcries of "my mum could shoot better than you!" provided as much amusement as the game itself. Lakers beat the Rockets in overtime and we celebrated under a sky of gold and purple glitter and streamers. Awesome!! No sign of Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Leo or Jack..... i thought i saw Pharell and Cee Lo Green perhaps...but it really was just some enormous black guy in the front row. Not to worry- paparazzi opportunity will be stepped up when we head back to LA in a couple weeks and stay on the Boulevard strip at the Roosevelt. When in Rome!
So from livin´it large´ in one country to another... i now find myself in the middle of the megapolous of Mexico City with 21 million other people. But this will be a story for another time. Already signs of the big-not-so-easy when you throw in a foreign language and more crowds, noise, traffic, bustle and social divide than we´ve become accustomed to in one evening than in the last week or so it has the makings of a whole new adventure...
until then..adios!
xoxo
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